SINCE MY SO-CALLED "KILLER" PANDA IS ACTUALLY A SPINELESS MILQUETOAST PACIFIST, I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO TATTOO SOME VICIOUS CLAW MARKS ON YOU... ISN'T THAT RIGHT, YANG YANG?

IF I HAD A HAPPY PLACE THIS WOULD BE IT

FOR A FEELING THAT IS GREAT, GO AND KILL SOMEONE YOU HATE

THEY'RE GONNA KILL, KILL YOUR SONS

OBLIGATORY BEN FRANKLIN QUOTE

"Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."
- Benjamin Franklin, Letter to Jean-Baptiste Leroy (13 November 1789)

KEEP OFF MY FACE

SURE, TAKE MY MONEY, GO BUILD A ROAD WITH IT OR SOMETHING

FIRST, I'LL STUN THIS SPACE EGYPTIAN WITH MY KAZOO GUN, THEN WE'LL SHOOT THE HUGE SUPPOSITORY YOU'RE IN DIRECTLY INTO THE GIANT ALIEN MONSTER ANUS, OK?

GET YOUR FOKKIN' TENTICLE OUT OF MY FACE!

YOU DON'T SEE THEM FUCKING EACH OTHER OVER FOR A GODDAMNED PERCENTAGE

THE SPACEBALL RICOCHET

with my les paul
i know i'm small
but i enjoy living
anyway

YOU'LL GET WHAT'S COMING TO YOU

HOW ABOUT A NICE PUNCH IN THE BALLS?

MONKEY STEALS THE PEACH

IF THEY SAY I NEVER LOVED YOU, YOU KNOW THEY ARE A LIAR

JUST WAVES IN SPACE

The strange thing about television is that it doesn't *tell* you everything. It *shows* you everything about life for nothing, but the true mysteries remain. Perhaps it's in the nature of television. Just waves in space.

I WANNA BE A STATISTIC

I wanna be stereotyped
I wanna be classified
I wanna be cloned
I want a suburban home
Suburban home
Suburban home
Suburban home
I wanna be masochistic
I wanna be a statistic
I wanna be cloned
I want a suburban home
Suburban home
Suburban home
Suburban home
I don't want no hippie pad
I want a house just
Like mom and dad
I wanna be stereotyped
I wanna be classified
I wanna be masochistic
I wanna be a statistic
I wanna be cloned
I want a suburban home
Suburban home
Suburban home
Suburban home

YOU FAITHLESS SLIME

WHAT A SHAME MARY JANE HAD A PAIN AT THE PARTY

RELEASE THE BATS

My baby is a cool machine
She moves to the pace of her generator,
Says damn that sex supreme
She says damn that horror bat
Sex vampire, cool machine

THE MATCH THAT STARTED MY FIRE

THERE GOES MY GUN

A bullet through a frozen rose.

YOU BITCHES ARE JUST JEALOUS THAT THE U.S. OWNS THE MOON

A KIND OF BEAST COMPOSED OF A HUNDRED BILLION SHINING POINTS

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

GODDAMN IT, JONES

INT. HYPERSLEEP VAULT

Explosion of escaping gas.
The lid on a freezer pops open.
Slowly, groggily, KANE sits up.
Pale.
Kane rubs the sleep from his eyes.
Stands.
Looks around.
Stretches.
Looks at the other freezer compartments.
Scratches.
Moves off.

INT. GALLEY

Kane plugs in a Silex.
Lights a cigarette.
Coughs.
Grinds some coffee beans.
Runs some water through.

KANE
Rise and shine, Lambert.

              
INT. HYPERSLEEP VAULT

Another lid pops open.
A young woman sits up.

LAMBERT
What time is it.

KANE
What do you care.

INT. GALLEY

Pot now half-full.
Kane watches it drip.
Inhales the fragrance.

KANE
Now Dallas and Ash.
(calls out)
Good morning Captain.

DALLAS
Where's the coffee.

KANE
Brewing.

LAMBERT walks into the kitchen.
Pours herself a cup.

INT. HYPERSLEEP VAULT

Two more lids pop open.
A pair of men sit up.
Look at each other.

INT. GALLEY

Kane enjoys a freshly-brewed cup.

KANE
Ripley...

Another moment.
And then the sound of another lid opening.

KANE
And if we have Parker, can Brett be far behind.

Lid opening sound.

KANE
Right.

INT. HYPERSLEEP VAULT

DALLAS looks at his groggy circus.  
     

DALLAS
One of you jokers get the cat.

RIPLEY picks up a limp cat out of one of the compartments.

I'D SAY THAT GIZMO IS A MACHINE FROM ANOTHER PLANET

Salvatore: What do we say to them?
Wash Perry: "Welcome to California."


_____________________________ 

ULTRA ULTRA ULTRA DEEP FIELD, BABY

HEY, THAT CTHULHU LOOKING SPACE FREAK IS TRYING TO HUMP MY SCIENCE WIZARD BOYFRIEND!

TO EXPLORE EVEN STRANGER AND MUCH NEWER WORLDS • V1

MR.SPOCK: You're the captain of this ship. You have no right to be vulnerable. In the eyes of the crew you can't afford the luxury of being anything less than perfect. If you do, they lose faith and you lose command.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: Yeah, well... (sigh) ...whatever. Listen, Spock. Take this fucking space dog thing. I'm going back to my quarters to jerk it to some ancient alien porn we found in a cave on Alfa 77, so, uh, hold my calls.

MR.SPOCK: Motherfucker.

_____________________________________________________

From: Star Trek episode 1x04 "The Enemy Within"

_____________________________________________________

SMASH THE CONTROL MACHINE

Cut word lines — Cut music lines — Smash the control images — Smash the control machine — Burn the books — Kill the priests — Kill! Kill! Kill!

- William S. Burroughs - The Soft Machine (1961)

DON'T BRING A KNIFE TO A GUNFIGHT

DON'T BRING A KNIFE TO A GUNFIGHT

DON'T BRING A KNIFE TO A GUNFIGHT

 

DON'T BRING A KNIFE TO A GUNFIGHT


_

HA! HA!

Damn right I am.

Unrepentant Bandwidth Waster

I apologize for nothing!